Ignominy

I MET SOMEONE YESTERDAY who had done the same thing, who has remembered all these years, same as me.

How could an eighth-grade spelling test have stayed in my mind for so long?  It stays because I cheated.

Spelling was one of my fortes, you see.  For some reason I was fairly good at sounding out words in English, with all their quirkeries, and there was little in what the authorities considered a teen-age vocabulary that I couldn’t spell.  I kept getting that “100%” on my test page, and not everyone did.

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The Football and Mister Wood

IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, you were a Soshe or you were a Square.  No one defined it, later I guessed that Soche was short for you were “Social” and Square was short for you weren’t.  The Soches were the cool guys, the Dangerous-Rebel guys and the way-pretty Alpha girls.  If you’ve seen The Fonz from the old television show, he was a Soche.

The two groups had little to do with each other by choice, but we were forced to share classes with each other, as that was what school was for, after all: training in our common culture.

One class we shared, unfortunately, was Physical Education, and one day a year we were required to take a test with a football, how far each of us could throw it and kick it and how fast we could run with it down a stretch of track.

I had not exactly welcomed the day of the test, as I had just discovered the stories of a writer named Ray Bradbury and much preferred tramping Mars with him than the track with the like of Ricky Conn, the school’s Marlon Brandesque Super-Soche, cocky, confident, and Look Out For Me.

Well described, for clearly he spent more time working out with weights than I spent in the school library.  Girls who loved hard bodies and risk, they loved Ricky Conn.

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This is not a Post it is a Note:

Dear Everyone who has posted on this site:

You may have noticed that this website has grown a bit in the last month or so.  It takes nearly full-time now for me to keep up with the forum, let alone the comments to the posts.

I read your words and I’m floored with the quality of your thinking, the depth of your understanding, and the skill with which you put your lives on a page.

Compelling as you are, yet I need to walk the dogs, more rarely have a crumb to eat, and last of all to sleep.

Please know that I treasure what you say and how you say it, and that in my mind I read and answer just about everything you write.  At the keyboard it’s a different story, I answer only a few.  I spent half an hour assaying poetry after seeing your excellent work, then deleted it for lack of quality…I won’t upload what I don’t myself enjoy.

Point is this: please don’t think I’ve lost interest because I’m not posting or commenting save now and then.  I feel the life-form that is this little family: it’s a current I’ve never felt before.  It’s a script from _Star Trek…_ my old acquaintance Gene Roddenberry would have delighted to visit this place, flickerings of his hope for Humanity coming true.

I take a breath and whisper, _”Who are these people?”_

Does anybody know?  Did you realize that there are others like you in the world?  If this is a teensy-tinesy brand-new website and it already has a cadre of powerhouse souls aboard, can you imagine how many like spirits there must be on the planet today?

– Richard

 

 

Got Plans?

I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN that I’ve been guided, this lifetime.  Nothing overt, a force from without jerking me left and right against my will, but as far back as I can remember I’ve had a deep calm sense that some dear Something was looking after me, caring for me, and that Something saw further than my eyes could begin to see.

Not a force, not lines on a cosmic blueprint, not an Akashic Driver chauffeuring me place to place.  More that when I looked back at the disconnected choices I’ve made my life long, I saw a harmony wasn’t disconnected at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Rorschach World

SOMETIMES ON A DOG WALK, I wonder what’s happened to my dogs.  We walk in a wilderness place that they know well, so they take off for while and I’m all alone on the path.  When I stand outside myself, or float a few hundred feet in the air, I look down at me and ask, “What’s that guy doing, the only soul in sight?”  And then I smile at the answer, “He’s walking his dogs.”

Yesterday after they abandoned me, I had a chance to notice the last of the snow on the ground, scattered patterns here and there.  This patch looked like a lion, that like a spaceship, that like an angel with three wings.

I laughed when I noticed that I was using the snow for my personal Rorschach test.

Then I wondered; instead of ink-blots or snow-blots, what if I use the world around me for my test?  This stack of massive logs, I saw it first as a barrier, an obstacle, “Don’t Go Here!”  then shifted it to be a ladder, easy to climb for a clearer view of my landscape.

The path itself, does it represent my own path, I wondered, hard going up hillsides sometimes, curving later around peaceful glades?  Why of course it does…that path is my life!  I’d been walking the same physical road for years, unaware that it stands for my destiny, whenever I choose to see it that way.  Rocks, trees, sky, city, cars, people — the physical expressions, they’re pictures of my mental and spiritual surroundings, as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time the pups came dashing back to join me, I saw them as travelers with me along our way, not talking but setting an example: what’s wrong with running your path sometimes instead of walking, what’s wrong with letting the destination take care of itself and simply _being,_ for a while?

Pretend every so-called external thing stands for something internal, and what all of a sudden do we understand about ourselves and about our spiritual choice to visit this planet?

If the pups could talk, I’d ask them.  Yet if they could talk, they’d probably say nothing and let me figure it out for myself.

 

To Whom Cares: Forum’s Working!

HERE’S A YOU-CAN-COLLAPSE-AND-SLEEP-NOW delicious name-your-favorite celebration cake for Chris our Webmaster! The forum’s up under “Community” on the menu bar effective now.

No rules for anybody except post something inappropriate and I’ll delete it and shut down your access. You’ve found what “inappropriate” means after you’ve been deleted.

Since I am fairly prim on coarse language and low-class ideas, assume I’m spring-loaded to the REJECT position, don’t mess with me and everything will be fine. Here’s a guide: so far there hasn’t been a single post on the site that I’ve found less that positive and thoughtful and appropriate for discussion.

Let me or Chris know any problems you have with the forum/discussion pages should you decide to play there and run into trouble.

You can pick up the title of any journal entries from the beginning of the site, if you feel like developing those ideas. Be careful about disagreeing with me, though. I shall allow only a hundred, that is, a single hundred disagreements on any one topic before I’ll begin to consider I might have said something wrong.

— Richard

Truthful Arguments

HER HUSBAND WAS UPSET.  ”I can’t believe you forgot our anniversary!  And you never remember, last year it was the same thing!  I’ve got to admit, you’re just plain thoughtless, you know how important this day is to me, and you don’t care one bit how I feel…I’d swear you go out of your way to hurt me!”

She listened.  When he paused, frustrated, she said, “Jack, I love you.  Your truthful argument, please?”

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Suicide Sin?

DON’T KNOW HOW I got on the subject, but I found myself Startpaging “suicide sin” on the Internet.  Looks as if it is.  Quite a few arguments by folks who care about sin, declaring that God doesn’t want us to kill ourselves except, I’m guessing, if we let the infidels do it for us in a holy war.

Then it occurred to me, that Jesus the Christ is the first major celebrity suicide that comes swiftly to mind, after Socrates.  If Jesus killed himself, why is it a sin for me to do the same?  Is Jesus a sinner?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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If You Build It, It Will Fly

YOU CAN HAVE the world’s best toolkit, but when there’s no patience there, you’re probably not going to build anything that makes you much happy.

For this reason, and although I wanted to build an airplane, I knew it wouldn’t happen.  Wouldn’t, that is, until the ultralight flying machines came on the market.

They seemed so simple!  Simple aluminum tubes, simple steel cables, you pop some fabric on the wings, wheels on axles, engine on mount, you’re done!

That’s pretty well the way it worked out.  I don’t remember how many hours it took to assemble my Pterodactyl Ascender, but it didn’t feel like a whole lot.  One day it lay in brown cardboard boxes, long coffins on the garage floor, the next day the boxes were gone and there was a great deal of unrecognizable odd parts on the floor.

Next day it was all still there, me at the kitchen table reading the manual of how it was all supposed to fit together.  Before I knew it, I had finished reading the first chapter of the manual.  The parts were still on the floor.  They stayed there as I began Section Two, “Assembling the Wing.”

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Normally I Wouldn’t Fly

THIS CLOSE TO a wilderness mountain ridge.

I can see the smile of my first flight instructor, all cool and unconcerned, pulling the throttle to idle and saying, “By the way, where do you plan to land when the engine quits… as it just did?”

“I guess we’ll have to put ‘er down on the little pointy white place,” I’d say.

But really, between you and me, and if you tilt your computer screen just right, you can see the valley beyond and a field down there that’d be not so hard to slip into and land, get out and stretch our legs, rest a bit from flying.

Like so many threats in our lives, a ferocious foreground distracts from our background security .  It’s fun to be scared, sometimes, but never to fear that our true life can be lost, nor in the slightest danger.