I GUESS SOMETHING I had said about loneliness reached my guardian angel. She’s beautiful, of course, as all of us are in our highest realms of spirit. Spoke softly, a kind of music in her voice.
“Hello, dear spirit. You’re my angel?”
She laughed. “You can say that. Most of us have specialties. Safety in airplane crashes, protection from storms on land, storms at sea, accidents on roads, in elevators… Everything that you believe can happen in a lifetime, you have angels to help when your mission in life is not quite finished.”
I knew there was more for her to say, but she didn’t go on. Not Telling Everything is part of an angel’s training.
“Are you going to help me,” I said, “with another airplane crash?”
“I don’t think you’ll be having another airplane crash.” She was so solemn about that, that it was my turn to laugh.
“What’s your specialty? There’s no elevator on the island. If you’re to be company for a lonely gentleman, I’ll accept your offer with thanks.”
“You’ll need mortals for company. I’m just a busy angel. There’s more in my specialty, but we’re all busy.”
“Forgive me. Thank you for saying hallo. My best wishes from the humans you’re helping!”
She didn’t move. “You want to have someone special in your life.”
“Well, yes, that’s true.” When there’s not a soul to talk with about all one’s gentle brushes with life, the funny moments of our lives…what would you say? I said, “How did you find that out?”
“Oh.” So that was her job. Four years without a loving partner in my life. Well yes, I had a beautiful non-romantic friend through the crash, she’s a friend now, still it would have been so much easier if my Personal Romantic Relationship Angel had found a partner before that.
“You’ve been busy indeed,” I said.
“There’s a time, and there’s a not-time. It was important for you to have a not-time. You’ll understand in a while.”
“Maybe there’s no one in this country for me. Maybe nobody in the world, ever,” I said. Lots of reasons for that: I live alone, don’t meet anyone in my quiet place, soon as there’s a party, I’m off the other…
“Would you consider,” she said, “a woman from a different country? I need to know. Is someone from a different culture, would they…?”
“I’d love it. I could learn a language, help teach English…”
“Language is easy,” she said. “Would you enjoy loving with a woman from a different culture?”
I was a minute before responding. “I have a problem with religions,” I said. “If the culture has parades for religious statues, of holy days that I think are lost on us, I’d have a little difficulty with that.”
There was a checklist on her mind. “You don’t like religions. You don’t care about age?”
“Now wait. If someone’s so young that she has no ideas of her own, that would never work. I’d need to find someone who knew, who had lived some tests, someone who had learned that the answers are within us, even if our spirit guides have to drag them on stage.”
“Drag anyone? I don’t think we’ve ever dragged… Tell me an age.”
“Someone who’s thought it all through… how can I give a number for all that experience. And young women want to have children. I don’t.”
“Tell me an age.”
“Thirty five?” I said. “Thirty five and they probably know they have answers, and they don’t need children.”
“Thirty five. And the top number for an age?”
“Any number is fine.”
“But you like beautiful women.”
“That’s important. But I know an actress,” I said, “I think she’s spent more time in this life than I have. She’s wildly beautiful. Of course I like beauty. I don’t care about counting age.”
“OK, from thirty five to any age beyond.”
“Yes.” Click on the checklist.
“There have to be Italians, the Spanish, French, German, Swedish women who aren’t connected with a religion, aren’t there? No problem with the culture. Of course I want one person, not families.”
“Same for near eastern countries, African, Asian? Does culture have any thing except religion that will stop you?
“I don’t care for wars…”
She laughed. “No wars? You flew war planes!”
“I was mid-twenties the one time the United States had no wars. The Berlin Crisis, later cooled. If I were in the military at thirty five, I wouldn’t choose me for a friend. I’ve already allowed for some learning. The trouble with the military…”
She frowned. “Are we discussing the military?” she said. “I thought you wanted someone to love.”
She smiled. “Are you old fashioned?”
“Very funny. No I don’t need an open marriage. I like us to talk about decisions. No, I’m not independent. Yes, I’m old fashioned.”
“Her travels are finished. She loves a country place. She plays with her imagination. Smart, of course. Loving.”
She smiled. “…likes Shetland Sheepdogs.”
Of course! I didn’t have to say a word to this angel! “You know everything about me, don’t you?”
“It’s nice if you tell me, too.”
“But you don’t need me to say …” We can’t hide anything, I thought. Angel guides know. A test for her: “How do I like my special love to wear her hair?’
“What do you like? Long, Straight. Dark.”.
“I knew it. You already know!”
“How can I find a perfect woman for you if I didn’t know?”
I looked at her for a half-minute. Everything about her was… “She looks like you, doesn’t she?”
“It’s easier when I mirror an image of her for you.”
“So where is she? How to I find her?”
“Richard, there are thousands of women across the world you’ll find are beautiful, have a bright sense of humor, are smart, loviing, speak English, love Shelties…thousands!”
She was quiet. I thought it was my turn to talk. “Oh, the problem is me, isn’t it?”
“Could be. They’re looking for someone different from you.”
“For some, the crash. For others, you’ve been in this life too long.”
That got my attention, of course. There’s a time for mortals when the belief of age stops attraction. “But you’re here with me now. Is it time for you to tell me that all I’ve done and said, you’re going to say it doesn’t matter? Romance dies with the belief of age? You’re going to tell me I’ll have to wait till my next lifetime?”
“Not really. You’ll change appearance soon as you enter the belief of the afterlife.”
“Oh. You’re saying that I just need to die.”
She looked at me, hint of a smile. “Tell me. Are you a difficult test for a mortal woman now?”
“I’ve loved a few women. Didn’t seem hard to meet them. When you love someone, it’s hard for them to be a test for you.”
She looked a question at me. “Richard, you are a quiet man. You live on a little island on the very edge of the United States, on a mountain-top, in a place that very few people visit, you’re surrounded by private lands, behind a gate, you go nowhere where you meet others, you don’t travel, your telephone is unlisted, you have practically no mail, you almost never give interviews, your website is unknown to almost every person on the earth, your email address is just this side of secret. If you wanted to be totally unknown, Richard, tell me: what else could you do beyond what you’re doing, this minute?”
A long silence. “Umm… I could shut down the computer?”
“That would help.” She just looked at me, the little smile, and all at once I knew how difficult her job must be. I had asked my Personal Romantic Relationship Angel to do the impossible.
“When you put it that way, I don’t have a lot to say.”
“Well, not to worry,” she said, ready for a challenge. “There’s not much for you to do in the mortal world, but there are a few things I can do. The principle of coincidence, I’ll turn some wheels. Much to happen with the magnetism of like hearts. Invisible powers you can count on, when material powers are gone.”
“I believe you.” I said. “Invisible powers.”
“We’ve met before.,” she said. “We will again. So many lifetimes.”
When she said that, I knew we needed a long talk. “I’ll be gone from your eyes now,” she said, “but I’ll still be near.” A nod of her head, a flash of her smile, and she was gone.
Not a second for me to say thank you, I didn’t tell her how much she meant to me. So many lifetimes. Was she the one I so wanted to meet?
She didn’t ask for thanks. All the angel spirit guides, busy beyond time, they do it for the fun of their work.
What a lovely belief for us to live!