The Leaf Who Touched Madrid

IT HAPPENED THREE YEARS ago, in October.  I was walking with Zsa-Zsa, or rather I was walking down a grassy road on the property and she was being a Shetland sheepdog exploring the lefts and rights of the road, checking to make sure the  squirrels were properly where they belonged, in the trees instead of on the ground, that the sparrows were in the sky and not resting on the grass. that all the mice had their little passports to travel the covered mini-roads over the meadow.

Winter would be here, and ZZ would soon have to taste the snowflakes, check out the footprints of raccoons, watch eagles shake their frost and fly from the tallest trees.

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Roofs and Stars

DO YOU KNOW how hard it is to live in a house?

Difficult, very difficult.  If you want to see the stars, your problem is the roof.  The roof will cover just about any star in the night sky.  A roof is very nice if its raining, or snowing, but when you want to see the stars, a roof is a considerable bother.

I went onto the Internet, of course, and began planning.  If I’m in my bed at night (and there’s Lockie, too (though he doesn’t spend much time looking at stars when there are pillows to be shredded), what are my options?


(My ceiling, pre-screen)

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Teaching the Person We Used to Be

I’M NOW READING a book which suggests that life creates the universe, not the other way round.

I wrote a book like that years ago, in three pages.  It’s in the story of my friendship with the me when I was ten years old.  It’s about my discovery of why things work in space and time.  The reasons for the book don’t matter here, but the conversation does.

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A Special Meeting of Spirit Guides


For the last several years, wishing for a dear female friend, I found that wishing is not sanctioned by a culture which measures age.  It used to be, that I’d wish for someone to touch my life and sure enough, I’d find someone perfect.  Now I find that if we’ve lost our dear friend after many years, we’re supposed not to care, any more, for anyone.  In these times, lacking a friend, I gradually became ready to die.  At least this decision brought a meeting of my spirit guides.

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Under the Stars

LAST NIGHT I STAYED at a little bedroom with a big skylight three feet over the bed, lots of windows and stars.  That took me back to the days I used to sleep in the back yard with my telescope and watch the sky.

It was then when I saw (I think) a pair of UFOs.  It was at midnight, clear and dark, no moon.  It was the Fall of 1951, no satellites, then.   I was nodding at my constellations when, south of Lyra, moving from west to east, came two star-colored lights, in formation, about as bright as second magnitude stars, and way up high.  No sound, no contrails, and faster than any airplane then or now.  They flew some 130 – 140 degrees, from one edge of the sky to the other, in three, maybe four seconds.  Then gone.

I haven’t seen any UFOs since that night.

Years later I flew with the Air Force for a while, went through gunnery school southeast of Phoenix, less than an hour by F-86F from Las Vegas.   Learned some things I’d remember forever, but wouldn’t even think about till I opened a book two days ago.

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A Warning for Me, Advice for You

I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT that this little place was a small personal website.  It doesn’t seem rational, but I’ve thought that you knew that I was the sole advisor of the site.

I’ve thought that since it was my site, I could delete any messages that suggested ideas that differed with the strange ideals (my personal ideals) that I thought might lift readers from the conventional to something that felt loftier, more fun.  If you didn’t know, I must tell you now that all this time I’ve been screening (deleting) a fair number of comments that didn’t quite fit my taste.

Now I’ve heard from a thoughtful reader that this is not fair.  That there’s an informal Internet Courtesy that requires almost anyone with almost any ideas to write what they wish on websites.

Of course I don’t agree.  If you feel that this is true, though, that I should allow most any comments to be published here, please let me know.  If most of you agree, I’ll thank you for the wonderful comments you’ve already sent, delete the website, and send my apologies for violating the Courtesy.

It will not be the first time that I’ve felt like a ferret blown by a hurricane and raised by squirrels…so much to learn of kindness to others!


A New Family


All my life there have been bright and clear events, all of them happening in plain sight, but I haven’t noticed them, till all of a sudden now.  They’ve never been secrets, they’re like friendly dogs, going for walks with me year after year, and I never noticed.

How many events are there?  Hundreds, thousands?  You’ve been aware of most our event companions, unless like me you’re part of that two percent who never got the word.

Want an example?  Here’s one I noticed yesterday.  Just noticed it!  Yet it’s been walking with me since I was maybe eight years old.

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Reality Part Two — A Final Exam for Mortals

HOW DO WE KNOW what’s real?

I was walking with Lockie yesterday and for a minute I did what I did as a boy, I had a double image of him.  So long as I could cross my eyes, I saw two Lockies side by side running through the meadow.  Yet there was only one of them in my life, so I wondered: which image was the real one?

The two alert Shetland Sheepdogs in my vision looked exactly the same, their fur and colors and tipped ears just the same, the gold meadow was the same, the trees in each image were the same.  Each of them would occasionally come to me if I called, each would eat a little treat for them if they came, with exactly the same number of crunches and with the same hope for another treat when they finished the first.

While they ignored my call, since there was a bunny that needed to be chased, I quit trying, uncrossed my eyes and watched their two images change to one.  The question remained: The double image I saw, which one was the real Lockie?  I reached deep into the past to find out.

I was an amateur astronomer when I was fifteen years old.  I built a six-inch F9 Newtonian reflecting telescope on an equatorial mount, set on the ground in my back yard.  Amazing, I thought, watching the moon, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars.  On very quiet night, after the air cooled and I could use a high-power eyepiece, I could see Syrtis Major on Mars and for a few seconds I could see a few of the canali there.  In English the word meant channels but in that time, it was bent to mean canals on Mars!

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Two Years Since

SOMETIMES ONE DOESN’T KNOW why things happened till later.   Till way later.

So it was two years ago that I crashed Puff into some high-tension wires.  I guess you know the story, in one second her wheels were caught in the cables and she slammed upside down into the ground, and I got to rest for most of a year, rebuilt Puff like new again and have been flying since.  It’s old history, yet I think of it, from time to time.  I’ve learned some lessons for me, but was there a story for anyone else, did my little adventure help anyone else’s lifetime?

All at once, the answer.  Only three words, built from personal experience.  Startling they are, but I think they’re true, they’re non-fiction:

We don’t die!

Most people who have lived through the adventure speak one time or two, for their family, their own story: “I knew I was going to die, but I didn’t.  I don’t mean in this accident, this lifetime.  I mean we don’t die, ever.“

Thoughts and spirits change in such calm words… spoken, sometimes whispered in quiet times, at home.  Listening, we try to share that feeling, and once in a while, we do.

What happens for the person who lived it is that we’ve just whispered the most important story we can tell, it means so much to us when someone understands what happened.

It doesn’t matter whether someone tells me or not – well, it does matter to me — but their telling says that something happened, that a wall came down that had been years standing.

So here’s a message from Adina, she lives in Sweden:

“I was reading a translated interview with you in the Swedish Magazine Inspire, and wanted to tell you that what you shared there means a lot to me.

“34 years ago my father died in an airplane crash together with 3 others. Similarly to what you were describing, the plane got caught and went straight down. They had flown from England to Sweden and were just about a kilometer from the airport, but had somehow gotten lost and were running out of fuel.

“I’ve thought about how they were experiencing their final hour and wondered if they even understood what happened going into the crash. What you shared in the article I’ve never heard of before, and it’s comforting to think that even though there must have been a lot of stress before the actual crash, the crash itself can have been a completely different experience.”

If I could talk with Adina, I’d say, “Yes!  It was a completely different experience!  Not what the newspapers said, not what anybody said!  Completely different!  Astonishing!  Beautiful!”

Used to be, I believed in continuing lives, they made sense, they seemed rational.  I don’t believe, now.  I know.  Every death ends in a dream.

I think that the afterlife seems realer than this lifetime, yet I’m pretty sure that our afterlife is a dream, too.  I think it is.  I don’t remember living it, but it makes sense, it seems rational.  My guess?  We live in beliefs of spacetime until we finally discover they’re good lessons, but they’re not real.  That happens, I think, when we know that the only thing that’s real, is Love.

Maybe that’s wrong.  If that’s wrong, I have such an incredible number of lives before I can think of something higher than that.